Friday, 14 September 2018

At What Age Should One Start Thinking Of Marriage?

Image result for at what age should one get married
Photo: Marriage- and- Age.

Well I don't get it! I no longer understand if age still has anything to do with anything these days otherwise I wouldn't know why everyone including minors seem to be having a romantic affairs with an opposite s*x.

When you go to secondary school you would find out that almost every girl is already having a boyfriend. At that tiny age. What do they talk about? S*x and romantic issues! And when you come down to society,younger girls are taking over marriage these days while the older ones are busy building up somewhere as if marriage is not for them. What is really happening? Is there a particular age ripe for marriage? At what age should one start thinking of marriage?

I remember there were days when men would be afraid to tell parents of girls they were attracted to that they were interested in coming for marriage with their daughters. Why? Because they thought that ladies in their early teens were not really mature for marriage. But what do we see now? Girls in their early teens are being taken and given in marriage whereas those in their middle teen are considered old and too mature to be considered.

At What Age Should One Start Thinking Of Marriage?

If this question is given to a group of people or thrown for a public opinion you would hear such things as:

 ''Girls should marry as soon as they meet their suitors.'' ''As early as possible. ''The sooner the better''. ''There is no specific age for marriage. One should get married when he or she deems it fit.'' 

I do not know if your opinion is given above or if you share any of the sentiment mentioned above. If  your opinion is something quite different,please feel free to share with us.

There is an answer in the greatest book of wisdom called Bible. If you could get a copy of it,it says in 1 Corinthians 7: 9 : ''But if they do not have self-control,let them marry,for it is better to marry than to be inflamed with passion.'' Also,verse 36 of the same chapter says ''But if anyone thinks he is behaving improperly by remaining unmarried and if he is past the bloom of youth,then this is what should take place: Let him do what he wants;he does not sin. Let him marry.''

Verse 9 says that if one does not have self-control let him or her marry. Then you could imagine at what age one begins to develop feelings for opposite s*x to the point that he or she could no longer control it. But to make it right,verse 36 of chapter 7 of 1 Corinthians say ''if he is past the bloom of age.''

At what age should one start thinking of marriage? The greatest book of wisdom,not human philosophy says ''When one has past the bloom of age.'' And if you ask me,I would say that is very reasonable!

That you allow yourself aroused with s*xual feelings is not a sign you are mature for marriage. Yes,romantic feelings for someone you are attracted to is very normal for any creature having blood and flesh. But you have to keep it under control. You have to wait until you have past that bloom of youth when every boy or girl seems good and perfect in your eyes.

There is no particular age bracket that is stated ripe or right for marriage. The only guidance is when one has past the bloom of youth! Have you past your bloom of youth? Have you come to know that qualities are important possessions which get one qualified for marriage? Are you now convinced that love is not about s*x or what you feel for an opposite s*x? Then you are getting ripped for marriage if your answers are resounding yes!!!

Highlighted subtitles on the age one needs to start thinking about marriage...

- Right age for marriage medically






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Wednesday, 12 September 2018

How To Build A Happy Relationship And Stay Together Forever


Relationship is hard work and it takes a lot of work. That is probably because relationship needs commitment and a lot of other ingredients that the couple need to work out. 

It is not news that men and women act really differently, process things differently, handle and see things differently. So for a couple to successfully work out a relationship, they have to both seek to understand their differences and celebrate their similarities. 

For many relationship, unfortunately, they are not able to get pass the human dynamics to make it work but although relationships are hard work, they can work. Relationships do not have to be full of sad times and unhappiness, they can be happy and fulfilling if certain things are put in place by both parties.





1.Effective Communication:

There is a reason communication always comes first when giving tips on how to improve your relationship in discussions like this. The reason is that many relationships, would have otherwise worked out if the partners had taken time to communicate effectively. Many of the fights that people have are simply as a result of misunderstanding. If one or both party are not ready to communicate, then the relationship would be hanging on a thread. Effective communication cannot be over emphasized in a relationship. Talk about any and everything. Ask questions and let your partner explain as against making assumptions. Talk about your fears and insecurities. Talk about your goal and dreams. And while your partner is talking, listen. Even if there is a quarrel, discuss it rather than fight it out. Relationship is not a battle ground.


2 2.Let Trivial Things Go:


Some people are in the habit of wanting to deal with any and every issue that comes up in a relationship. Of course, if you have doubts, talk to your partner about it rather than keep mute and acting out. However, many of us are in the habit of wanting to fight over anything, even the most trivial things. Sometimes, even arguments can escalate if we let it. You don’t have to agree over everything, you are two different human beings. Agree to disagree sometimes and let some things go. Ask yourself if it is truly worth it before engaging your partner. If it isn’t, then there is no point letting it steal your joy. 


3.Understanding Differences:

You and your partner are two different individuals. Even twins are different, so you cannot expect to have the same likes and dislikes or have the same personality. But the differences can be used to work for the good of the relationship if both of you are willing. Understand, rather than dread the differences. Of course, there are certain differences and even similarities that cannot work in a relationship, but you should have known that before starting the relationship. Working under the assumption that you both know and agreed despite your differences, you can learn to understand them. One way to do that is by accepting them for who they are and not seek to change them. Seeking to change your partner is a recipe for disaster. Another thing is to accept you are different, you might not agree with what this person likes but you understand that is how they are and you let it go. Then, regarding hobbies, try to engage in something the other person likes once in a while. Get your adventurous spirit on and try something new. 


4.Celebrate Similarities:

Just as you are different, there are certain parts of you that would be similar. It is even impossible for a relationship to work between people who are completely different. Opposite does attract and is fun, but there are certain values and principles that have to align for a relationship to last long and be happy. So, celebrate your similarities. If you have the same hobbies or some of them, then do them together, create memories, especially over things you both enjoy.


5.Forgiveness:

To err is human, to forgive is divine. It is impossible to relate with another human being, wherever and whenever and there won’t be offenses except there is pretence involved. We are humans and sometimes, we just step on each other’s toes. A relationship that would last will need a high dose of forgiveness from each side, sometimes, even without getting an apology. Sometimes, our relationship is more important than getting an apology. Now, of course, we should not subject ourselves to people who will not readily apologize when they hurt us and we should also not be those kind of people, but there are times when people hurt us and they don’t even know they did or offenses that can be easily overlooked. Wear your forgiveness cloak on when you are about to get into a relationship.


6.Be Committed:


Some people have no idea what being in a relationship entails. They want to have their cake and eat it. You cannot have an enviable relationship without working on it. There is virtually nothing on earth that can be excellent without a high dose of commitment to make it excellent. Have it in mind and be deliberate to make your relationship last and not just last, but happy and fulfilling as well. 


7.Be Realistic:

Quite a number of times, we have an unrealistic expectation of our partners, ourselves and our relationship. When that expectation is not met, we become disappointed and sometimes, resentful. It is not your partner’s fault they cannot meet the high expectations you set for them. Have expectations and standards but be realistic about it. Your partner is not God; he/she cannot be perfect, just like you are not perfect. And the relationship cannot be all rosy, there will be downtime, expect it and ride over it together.



8.Laugh and Play: 
Yes, life can be difficult and yes, life can be unfair but in all these, find time to play and laugh. If you cannot laugh with your partner, who would you laugh with? Tell each other corny jokes and laugh it out. Be silly with each other without judgement. Life is too short to spend it being serious all the time. There is indeed time to be serious but there is time to be playful and laugh.


9 .Be Tolerant:

Things will not always go your way in the relationship; your partner will not always be how you expect them to be. Be tolerant. Give room for offenses and be ready to forgive and let it go. Everybody has a deal breaker, so there is no problem with you having a deal breaker but if everything you don’t like or want is a deal breaker, then there will be problem. In order to have a lasting relationship, both parties have to tolerate each other.


10.Spend Ample Time Together:


Life can really get busy. The hustle and bustle of life can get in the way, many times but in all these, find time to spend with your partner. Spend a lot of time together. Many might not like it but out of sight can be out of mind, especially if when in out of sight, you don’t deliberate seek to find ways to be in each other’s presence. Technology has made even partners in a long distance relationship spend time with each other without being physically present. So if you stay in close proximity, you have no excuse. We always find time for what we consider priority.


11.Give Room for Alone Time:


While you should find time to be with each other a lot, you should also take time away from each other to breathe. Some people are in a relationship and joined at the hip, and many times, it causes friction. Have a life outside of each other. Have friends who respect and support your relationship. Have a career or business that would keep your busy and not in each other’s faces all the time. Take time to go out on dates with friends or even alone, so you can appreciate the time you spend together.


  12. Be Each Other’s Biggest Cheerleader:


Your partner should be your biggest cheerleader and vice versa. It is not fun to be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t support and celebrate you. Celebrate each other’s victory as though it is yours. Grieve each other’s failure as though it is yours. Encourage each other and always be there for your partner. When they know you are always in their corner and always have their back, it increases assurance they have towards the relationship.


13.Be Affectionate:


It is normal for people to start taking their partner for granted after they have been in a relationship for long. You see them no longer try to look good for their partner, no longer compliment each other, exchange gifts, go on dates and be generally affectionate. Some even commit the heavy crime of forgetting birthday and anniversaries. No matter how long you have been in a relationship, don’t take the spice away that was there at the beginning. Tell each other “I love you,” exchange gifts, go out alone on dates and do those little things for each other. They will always matter.


14.  Respect Each Other:

Respect for each other is very important in any relationship. At the core of it all, we all want to be loved and we also want to be respected. Respect your partner by discussing issues before making decisions that will affect you both, respect them by not doing things you know they wouldn’t like, just generally show them respect. Even when you are having disagreement, present your case with respect.

15.  Make Your Partner a Priority:

Your partner should always come first. Don’t always put work and other things before them. Making money is important and your partner should understand your need to work and make some. But they should always feel like they have to compete. Assure them through your actions about their position in your life.

Relationship can really be lasting and they can be happy if we take care and put in the hard work. Nothing good comes easy you know.

Dear Monikmotivational friend,put all these to heart and be on your way to building a happy relationship that will last forever! Yes we trust you will!!!


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Monday, 10 September 2018

Do You Suffer Differences In Your Relationship? Is It Normal?

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I don't understand it when it is said that it is better for couples to be persons of different characters when differences of interest bring conflict,causing more problems than could ever be handled. 

Often,it is said that when a man is quiet in nature,he should get a woman of outspoken character for a mate. I just wondered why! Would they be facing court rousing cases or wrestlemania soon in their marriage? Do you suffer differences in your relationship?

The debt of differences in relationship is huge. Sometimes it could mean differences in characters or attitudes. Take a lot at this:

A wife might be someone who does not like to see anything litter on the ground. In her house,she makes sure clothes are picked and packed in their normal places. And her husband? He is a direct opposite of his wife. As he comes in he removes his shirt right in the sitting room and dumps it on a seat. Most times the only problem he always has with his wife borders on his carelessness,habits and dirty attitude. Do you suffer differences in your relationship?

The truth of the matter is that differences exist where there are two different people living together. Even people with common interests still suffer differences at times. We are all different humans and we should therefore look at the world differently.

Do You Suffer Differences In Your Relationship? Is It Normal?

Yes and very yes! It is normal to suffer differences in relationship. This is why relationship is a school of no graduation  for married couples because they would keep learning and learning different attitudes and makeup of their partners.

Tolerance and adjustment are the key words for couples who want to succeed in their relationships. You can't force any man or woman to dance to your tune or live the kind of life you live. Allowing people live their lives irrespective of how you feel is tolerance. On the other hand,seeing that your attitude irritates your partner,seeing that your life style isn't good and healthy should call for changes. That is adjustment!

Read more: Should There Be Tolerance In Relationship?

One more point on how to manage differences in your relationship

If you happen to have a partner who doesn't bother where or how things are kept for tidiness,you could try this:

A woman whose husband like the one mentioned above likes to dump his clothes and shoes wherever he dims fit would on seeing her husband throw his shirt on a seat remove hers right in front of him and do the same. You know what? Her husband picked up and said ''What was that?'' And she said: ''Exactly what you just did.''

Our point: No one notices that their actions or behaviors are bad unless they are made to see it! As long as we are persons of different characters we will always experience or suffer differences in our relationships!!!  
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Saturday, 1 September 2018

Does Your Partner hide His Or Her Emotional Feelings? Do This!

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If there is anything that makes relationship uninteresting,it is when one's partner does not open up his feelings to the other.

Yes relationship begins with little talks here and there and now and then and before you know it,something emotional has been established between tow hearts. 

It is at this point one could say he is in a relationship with someone. Does your partner hide his or her emotional feelings? This could be very difficult but there is something you can do.

Relationship is stirred up in love and feelings but there are people who hide their emotional feelings from their partners. But you feel love and emotional attachment for each other that tells you you both are in love no doubt. 

I had a boy friend who never really told me he loved me for as many years as I could remember we were in a relationship. As a result of this,I could not tell him openly too that I loved him because I wasn't sure what he was up to. But the feelings for both of us were always there. Many times I tried to let him go but he still lingered around. But you know what? I never stopped telling him how unromantic he was. I always told him I wanted a man who would open up to me  and not one who hides his feelings from me.

Yes,just one night,he told me he loved me. I didn't get to feel the impact of his expression because I was already worn off. Not so long,everything went numb and we really parted ways. Does your partner hide his or her emotional feelings? Do this!

WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR PARTNER HIDES HIS OR HER EMOTIONAL FEELINGS FOR YOU.

A relationship coach I once met online says that when one partner opens up his or her emotional feelings for the other,it becomes easy for the other to do the same. But when the two keep hiding their feelings from each other,the relationship becomes numb and confusing.

That was exactly what I suffered from in my first relationship. I wasn't even sure if I was in a relationship but the feelings he purged in me whenever we had to talk and that which he received compelled me to stay. The feelings we enjoyed whenever we got in touch with each other made it difficult for us to end our various sweet conversations. We never ever wanted to say ''goodbye!''

To see if your ex still has feelings for you please read this: Does Your Ex Still Have Feelings For You? Find Out Here!

In as much as feelings cannot be expressed most times by words but by actions,it is still very very necessary for lovers to mention their emotional and romantic feelings to the hearing of each other. It gives assurance. Yes,it reaffirms promises to keep each each!! Does your partner hide his or her emotional feelings? Do this!! Open up first or make him open up to you!!!
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Monday, 27 August 2018

Does Your Ex Still Have Feelings For You? Find Out Here!

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Does- Your- Ex -Still -Have -Feelings- For -You?- Find -Out -Here!

When we say that love is stronger than the heart never doubt it. The feelings it generates grows so strong that even when the relationship is over,one still lives in the mind of the ex. Does your ex still have feelings for you? Find out here!

To say that one does not have feelings for his or her ex is to say that all the time they were in relationship,it was a mere claim of love and fantasy that they shared. No true love,no clear direction or purpose of the relationship. It was simply boyfriend and girlfriend affairs. Does your ex still have feelings for you? Still find out here!

5 Facts That Your Ex Still Has Feelings For You And Wants You Back

According to love therapy,the best thing to do with an ex is to unfollow him or her in all social media handles. And because you both have separated from each other and quit the relationship you won't find it necessary to call your ex in order to know how he is doing or expect him to do the same.But however,it doesn't really follow that way.

Your ex who still has feelings for you would in so many ways somehow try to connect with you without your very knowledge. For example,has someone a total stranger ever called your telephone line and said you both are friends on Facebook and when you checked on the name he mentioned you would find nothing related to it? Yes,your ex set him up to do that in order to check on you.Does your ex still have feelings for you? Find out here more points!

Maybe you performed excellently at a function of a large crowed or there was something you were celebrity and a lot of people were calling and sending text messages and you got one,not knowing exactly where it was coming from. Then the message said in conclusion: ...''the suitor you know''.
Who is that suitor you know? From east to south,north to west,there was no other suitor you knew at that time but you ex. Yes,that is another thing your ex does to confirm that he still has feelings for you.

If your ex still talks about you with his friends whether on positive things or on negative it shows that he is sill having feelings for you. The good book Bible says that out of the abundance of heart,the mouth speaks. Your presence is filled his heart and so he speaks of you and shares it with his friends. He still has feelings for you if he does this.

There are men who always tell their their girlfriends certain things their ex never did well. Dear Motivational girl,it is not a compliment that your boyfriend tells you about his ex negative part.Don't feel he is comparing you with her making you feel you are on a better side. You might just be a compliment at the moment and maybe when he finds out that his ex has changed,he goes back to her.

Love when built in a relationship is so hard to break. Whether you call it quit or broken relationship,the love never dies! Whether he's got a new girlfriend or not,his heart still lingers and you still live in his heart!Does your ex still have feelings for you? Enjoy the memories while it last!!!


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Monday, 20 August 2018

Should There Be Tolerance In Relationship?

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One thing is sure-there is nothing in marriage which was not seen and tolerated during courtship. Whatever attitude a man or a woman displays in marriage must have been displayed while courting and because it was allowed,the attitude now migrated into marriage. Should there be tolerance in relationship?

Don't deny it. Your spouse did show you his or her character while you were dating. But you seemed not to see it because you believe love is blind! Anything he or she did was so good in your eyes and you accepted. Then why are you complaining now?

Some couples could complain! He drinks and smokes a lot! Are you just finding out? Unfortunately it is late. You can't change it now. It was one of those things you should have pointed out to him while you were dating and told him you are allergic to smoke and odor. Then for the sake of love if he said he loved you so much that he could even sacrifice his life or die for you he could have given up smoking and excessive drinking for your sake. But no,you were afraid you would lose him if you told him to stop his dangerous habit. Should there be tolerance in relationship?

Should There Be Tolerance In Relationship?

The answer depends on what you truly want.Relationship is a nursery stage which grows into mature reasonable status like marriage. Just as the good book says: ''Train up a child in the way he should go and when he grows he will never depart from it'' so is your relationship. What is even in dating or courtship? An opportunity to get to know the life of your partner and see if you can go with it. If he or she is not manageable,if his or her character is one you cannot tolerate,you quit the relationship. It is not compulsory that every relationship that one is into should lead to marriage. No!

And if you are the tolerant type,if it doesn't bother you whatever life style or habit your partner has and you know that you won't get offended by it tomorrow then tolerate it! Should there be tolerance in relationship? Yes,in this case!

Tolerance is about what you like and what is pleasing to you. Dear Motivational friends,do not be deceived by the thought that whatever cannot be changed during relationship would be changed during marriage. No,it is not in the principle of marriage and it doesn't work that way! Whatever cannot be accepted should not be tolerated!

To be more sincere,it is in marriage that real personalities and traits show up. It is in marriage that you clearly see the person you have been married to. How he or she chews food and crunches chips,his or her hygiene level and all of that. Can't you see that marriage is loaded and heavy? Is it something you could pretend to manage? For how long my dear friend?

Should there be tolerance in relationship? Yes,if it is something you know you can tolerate forever. But hey,if you are still considering or asking : Am I sure this is something I can tolerate? Am I sure this man is going to change this habit as he promised? What if he does not change it tomorrow can I adapt to it,accept or condone it? If your answers to these questions are not YES,my dear friend,there should be no tolerance of what you cannot condone later in your relationship!!

Are you one of those who find it difficult to say NO when you ought to do so in your relationship? Read this: How To Say No In Relationship When It Is Hard

Whatever you cannot accept later in marriage should not be tolerated in relationship!!!
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Wednesday, 15 August 2018

What to Do When Your Spouse Keeps Admiring Other Women


Image result for spouse
You and your spouse.

But have you ever seen anyone,man or woman,child or adult who had never admired one person or the other in life? I am so sure that you have been caught many times saying ''I love the way this man behaves or I love the way the man dresses.

Always looking cute.'' What is wrong with that? When  your spouse keeps admiring other women does it matter anything?





There are women when they are out with their spouses all they watch out for is to see or catch their husbands looking at other women. I now ask: What do they want to achieve from that?

And when they succeed catching their husbands looking at other women,they begin to fabricate and make up negative stories from it. Yes,When your spouse keeps admiring other women,does it matter anything?

Let's take your own experience for example because everyone admires some people at some point in time. When you see a man and you say in your heart: '' Wow! I love the way this man looks'' what does it mean to you? A lot!

And I am also sure that if he extends his hand to you you would rise. If he opens his arms to you,you would also go for a hug even when your spouse is there.

There is something about admiration and it is so strong. Looking at a woman with admiration could either make you want to have her and if you are a super strong man who only admires the way she appears or dresses there would be no such feelings to have her. She is absolutely absent in your mind and heart!

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN LOOK AND APPEARANCE.

You see there is a big difference between admiring the way someone looks and they way someone appears. When you admire the way someone looks,it means love at first sight. That is the kind of person you are attracted to. You can call him or her your very heart desire. Again the question: When your spouse keeps admiring other women,does it mean anything?  Most times yes!

If you already have a wife and in her presence you still admire another woman it means you have a wrong person by your side. Or did you marry her because of her character? Her background or her charisma? There you go! But what your heart desires,what you really want and need in a woman is not any of those things but her physique. You care so much about it!





You can't change certain physique such as tall to short and vise versa,so what happens when you get married to a short man or woman when all you have ever wanted is a tall person?

WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU MISS YOUR HEART DESIRE

Most times,we don't get exactly what we want in life and it is easy to keep messing up our relationship.

Many times again,things don't go the way we plan! When you don't get  exactly what you desire in a marriage mate:


  • Bear it and enjoy the other advantages he or she has.



  • Understand this is life and there is no way you could have it all.



  • Even if you have a tall man or woman you love for a physique,her inner part may be so unbearable for you that sooner or later his or her tallness begins to mean nothing to you.



  • In marriage,what matters most is a partner who is and will be faithful,committed and supporting till the end and not the one who can add or contribute nothing in the relationship.Finally,



  • Whether it is beauty or glamour,some day it will fade and what remains is the inner stuff or beauty!!!



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Thursday, 9 August 2018

When You Are Not A Priority,Should You Stay Or Leave The Relationship?

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When You Are Not A Priority,Should You Stay Or Leave The Relationship?

Have you ever seen a relationship where either a man or a woman is not regarded or appreciated in their marriage?

We are not talking about relationship where both parties are dating,still considering whether they could go down the aisle,no. We mean marriage. Marriage relationship! When you are not a priority should you stay or leave the relationship?





Well I have seen a lot of couples managing to stay in their marriages. A very close friend of mine for example had suffered lack of appreciation from her husband close to ten years in their marriage. She said,no matter what she did to please her husband,it seemed she was making him ignore her the more.

She knew she was in marriage but she never felt she was loved by the man who was her husband. She was not a priority to him! As far as the man was concerned,she was a woman and wife who came to give him children. He wanted something else other than that very woman!

Fifteen years came and gone after she has had five kids for him,the situation was still the same. This woman never felt any special attention from her husband except that she got all the material things she needed to be comfortable.Soon she completely stopped giving specially attention to her husband and focusing on her kids who made her happy.

And you know what? It was then that her husband began to feel that he was home alone. Then reverse became the case! When you are not a priority,should you stay or leave the relationship?

Another example of someone who was not a priority to her husband was a woman who endured loneliness in the presence of her husband for 12 years in her marriage. Her own story was so pathetic because she had no child in the marriage. Her husband who got married to her by himself suddenly changed his behave towards her and began to have what we call personality disorder.

No touching,no fun play,no sex. They were just like classmates in a room having platonic relationship. But little did she know that the man she had married was a gay. He would always go out whenever he needed his fellow man and return after some days.

His wife never knew that it was not a tight work schedule that had been keeping him away from touching her passionately but the gay spirit. When you are not a priority,should you stay or leave the relationship? 

Well in this case,the woman had to leave the relationship because she was not in marriage. She soon discovered she was married by this man to have a woman in his house to avoid the suspicion of being a gay. After all,gays don't marry or have wives.





What was the purpose of being in a marriage where you are no longer married? The man looks at you like you are still a baby,waiting for you to mature! His personality disorder makes him feel that if he touches your body or asks you to open your legs he would be eating a forbidden fruit

She had no children who would at least make her feel she was in marriage and the man was not ready to have anything to do with her. Yes,he was committing adultery of the highest order,abusing their marriage vows and relationship,neglecting and killing the his wife's emotional feelings and needs and you advised she should continue staying? May it never happen to you!

When you are not a priority,should you stay or leave the relationship? Your answer is as good as mine having considered the two examples above!!!



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Tuesday, 7 August 2018

How To Say No In Relationship When It Is Hard

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How To Say No In Relationship When It Is Hard

You know sometimes,many of us who have been in love do not know how it all started. We hardly also can remember how it began in the first place. This is because,to some people who are in relationship,it all started with ''love in at first sight'' whereas others gradually fell in love with someone they never ever got attracted to or even imagined they would ever swim in love with.





Now you deeply feel loved by the other person but your heart is sincerely with another,what would you do? He loves you so much and has done everything a man could possibly do to prove his love to his girlfriend but you still do not feel same with him. Your heart goes to someone somewhere out there your heart imagined to be with and yearn for but you do not know how to say no to this wonderful boyfriend of yours.

Surely,if there is anything you need to do now to set your heart free from the relationship your heart is so absent minded,it is to say NO. But how could you do this? 


HOW TO SAY NO IN RELATIONSHIP WHEN IT IS HARD 

It has been proven that before a girl finds the one she truly loves and yearn for,she would have met all sorts of men on the way ,coming to her. Those who enter into troubles to the extent they cannot say no when it is the only thing they've got to say are those who say yes to Jark and Jin on their way.

How could Mr A come to you and knowing that you don't want the kind of Mr A is as a lover and you still accepted just because he can make you happy? Then you forgot that relationship is not all about the happiness you receive but the happiness you also give in turn.





Now you are in trouble,how would you come out of it? That is the question. How to say no in relationship when it is hard.

One of the ways you can say know to your boyfriend when you are no longer interested in a relationship to by slowly withdrawing. Start doing less those things you do that make him feel you are closely with him. Then he will come to you and ask you what is happening. Even at this time you have the opportunity to tell him you are not interested,do not say it so loud and clear. Simply tell him you don't understand what you feel about the relationship any more.That you are not enjoying it as before. And if he asks you if you are seeing another man tell him no. He deserves enough respect from you. A man who loves you and get no for an answer from you should not be hurt or stricken in the neck.

Secondly at this point,you say the 'no' but without apology. Often we believe that it is polite to say ''I am sorry'' when we are not agreeing with someone but  this ''I am sorry'' thing does not matter anything to him or her at this point.

Please read: Simple Ways to Stop Messing Up Your Relationships

But wait a moment. What are you saying sorry for? Is it a crime to say no to something that doesn't give you joy or to something that you don't like or want in your life? Simply thank him and tell him you are grateful that he loves you but you can't force yourself to go against your immediate will.

Then the third point on how to say no in relationship when it is hard is this: ''Do not tell him any negative thing you feel about him or you hate about him such as ''I need a better man,a man who can take care of my financial or material needs.'' ''I need a man who is educated and not an illiterate like you''. Please avoid these insults and do not tell a man that loves you he is not man enough!

However,if the problem is based on anything humanly impossible to change,it is positive you tell him your reason for wanting to say no. For example,you could tell him that your gynotype or blood group is no match with his. Ask him what his blood group is and wisely tell him yours that will not match with it.

A friend of mine who wanted to get out of a relationship that seemed to kept her in bondage forged an idea. She told her ever loyal boyfriend who wouldn't give her a breathing space that her late mother died of diabetes the same thing that killed his own father. And she made him to see that since this medical issue is in their families,the best thing to do is to quit the relationship and avert breakdown on the way.

Our point is that it is not a crime to say no to anything you do not want but you must do so with respect and love. A man who loves you and shows you love has done nothing bad. Where many do not see you in favor,he picks you and makes you his suitor. This man deserves respect and not insult or embarrassment.

Yes,you owe no one apology for going for what you want!!!
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Is It Normal To Experience Changes In Relationship?

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What do we mean by this: ''Is it normal to experience changes in relationship?'' It means for a relationship to have good,bad and ugly faces. Today you may feel you are enjoying the best relationship on earth and tomorrow it changes and you begin to wonder if it is still the love you were talking about few days ago with your friends. Is this normal? Is it normal to experience changes in relationship?

Yes it is very very normal! In life,it is very normal for anything worth doing or living for to experience changes. Our life change,our thoughts and emotion change,our habit changes,and our works also change. What is it on earth and about life that does not experience change or changes? Change is a sign of progression if you ask me.

Is It Normal To Experience Change In Relationship?


I am yet to see any relationship on earth that never experienced ups and downs before it is made perfect in love. Could you think of any? Have you seen in your entire life? If all you experience in your relationship is sweetness all the time then my dear you are not in a relationship. You ain't enjoying anything! Has he no gall even if you pretend you have none? What human of your nature on having gall to keep living pretend you are an angel without the need of it? Even angels from heaven get angry and strike to express their displeasure. How much more humans!





We are not talking about being beaten up by your boyfriend to know you are in a real relationship,no. If your boyfriend beats you up whenever he is irritated or disappointed by you he has a very big attitude problem. If it becomes a habit he can't fight to change,hello girl,you had better find your way out of his life. This is not the kind of change we are talking about here. We mean such changes as love turning cold from warm,uncertainty highing and things not working as expected. Is it normal to experience changes in relationship? Again yes.

In case your erred partner comes back in love with you please read this: 5 Ways To Forgive Your Partner When It's So Difficult To Do So


Here is how to deal with changes in your relationship

First understand that it is normal for partners in relationships to have some attitude changes after all,how could you tell if he or she is thinking whether his or her partner in a relationship is the right person for him or her? Change is a sign of progression remember.  If your partner is changing in the way he or she behaves,it means he or she is in the process of thinking of possibilities. You both should respect changes and allow your partner to make his or her decision. This is why relationship is for mature minds!





Secondly,why changes are taking place,do not shut the door of communication. Leave it open. Relationship is like school where you study the course of your choice. Your partner is your course choice. You need to attend classes to pass your course. Open the door of communication in your relationship even though it is difficult to understand at the moment. But you know what? As soon as both of you begin to have understanding of each other you will begin to enjoy everything about it.

Finally, to dear Motivational friends,listen to your inner voice speaking to you.Changes in a relationship is opportunity for you to see all you need to know about the person you are thinking of building your future and spending the rest of your life with. You see it is not any bad at all to see or experience changes in your relationship. Do not ignore the inner voice that speaks to you at the time of changes. Don't force love when the other says it is over with you. Just understand he or she can not go far with you in future being the reason he or she has chosen to quit. What do you have against that? You should rather be happy that what will be a hindrance for you later in life is already leaving. Cheers!!!


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